 |
Nexus War
Ushering in Armageddon
|
| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
TuesdayIsComing
Ascended
Joined: 18 Sep 2006
Posts: 409
|
 Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 12:19 am Post subject: |
 |
|
| Quote: | * convider (Brant@nw-557CC481.dsl.bell.ca) has joined #Murder_INC
<convider> full AP, anything needed?
<Cypher> World Peace
<convider> ...
<convider> get out |
_________________
Liar, Liar, Sniper Fire |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
JackTheRipper
Nexal Architect
Joined: 18 Jul 2007
Posts: 1312
Location: U.S. - Columbus, Georgia (Why, stalker?)
|
| Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 2:26 am Post subject: |
|
|
Sorry Tuesday; I've got to add the last two lines of that, because they struck me as funny, as well.
| Quote: | <convider> where do you think you are?
<Cypher> happy inc? |
And on an unrelated note:
| Quote: | Korso said, "Thus concludes my daily scouting report, brought to you by Void Stepping!" (Mon, 10 Sep 2007 14:10:03 -1200)
Korso said, "When you absolutely, positively must walk through walls while disemboweling people, use Void Walking!" (Mon, 10 Sep 2007 14:10:31 -1200)
Korso said, "...side effects may include dizziness, nausea and the loss of your corporeal form." (Mon, 10 Sep 2007 14:11:15 -1200) |
_________________
Jack
Serial Killer, Murder Inc.
| BobGeneric wrote: | | The Nexus is, in essence, one large community. While our characters pick sides and are enemies, our players - by and large - shouldn't have to. |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
TuesdayIsComing
Ascended
Joined: 18 Sep 2006
Posts: 409
|
| Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 3:26 am Post subject: |
|
|
I contemplated putting them in, and almost did. Eventually I decided to hold it to one punchline.
_________________
Liar, Liar, Sniper Fire |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Fremen
Plane Traveller
Joined: 16 Jun 2006
Posts: 532
Location: Texas
|
| Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 5:03 am Post subject: |
|
|
We want more of The Korso & Krull Show!*
*bangs tankard on the table repeatedly*
*Not that you other guys aren't funny, but you're no K & K!
_________________
"Fort Tague, the real Purgatory." ~osamaB~
 |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Brancaleone
Nexal Architect
Joined: 31 May 2006
Posts: 1065
Location: Tokyo
|
| Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:06 am Post subject: |
|
|
* joins the table banging * Agreed! 
_________________
My Characters |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Grey Jack
Ascended
Joined: 30 Dec 2006
Posts: 259
|
| Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:45 am Post subject: |
|
|
Ah, sorry. I've been really busy with school and work lately, so I haven't quite had a chance to write anything at all, much less another Korso and Krull script.
I'll give it a shot today. I also have some ideas for the Devil's Coin Regulars...
_________________
A Thousand Monkeys Fighting Over One Typewriter |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
JackTheRipper
Nexal Architect
Joined: 18 Jul 2007
Posts: 1312
Location: U.S. - Columbus, Georgia (Why, stalker?)
|
| Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 3:01 am Post subject: |
|
|
Well, this is a fine example of what goes on in our stronghold on a regular basis. And yes, for all you table-beaters, the newest Korso and Krull is included. 
The log has been edited, by the way, to remove some sensitive info; raid information, scouting reports that mentioned coordinates - or may not have been acted upon - and infusion info. There was also some not-quite-hilarious chatter that was removed, though some of that has been left so that later comments will make more sense. Most of the funniest stuff has been bolded Also got rid of those annoying timestamps.
Enjoy!
(Edit: I also had to put in TwoBees' breakdown at the end. Poor girl...)
| Quote: |
Durin's Bane , with some trepidation, hands his chainsaw over to Saul-C-RES-13. He doesn't have safe access yet, so he also hands over his potion of regeneration. If Saul wishes to enchant the saw with that, great. If Saul has ideas for a different damage type, it's all good.
convider walks in with a few more skulls. With a deft flick of his scalpel he disconnects the jawbones and knocks out the gold fillings on Krull's head. "You'd think that people would switch to an alloy which wouldn't make their dead bodies more valuable..."
Saul-V-RES-13 gives the Chainsaw back to Durin's Bane. Even though he promised to fix it, something seems -- wrong. It keeps spitting out this vile liquid, which burns through most things relatively easily, whenever it's used. Oddly, this actually DOES seem to be an enhancement.
Metaxas the Smiling One said, "I say, you cannot go out in this nexal hole without risking some Myrmydon faggot trying to crack your skull open."
Metaxas the Smiling One said, "I think, I´m very fond of Carmilla, I say, she found the myrmydon faggot and gave him one worm, in reward for his insolence."
Durin's Bane giggles as he revs the chainsaw a few times. He's so happy he doesn't even seem to notice the tiny splatters that smokingly speck his face, "Oh, yeah. This new world definitely has got things going for it! I think I'm going to like it here."
Slow Creeping Death Just read Jack's email and wanted to say "Three cheers to Murder Inc. An excellent faction all round!"
Begelar said, "Someone hand me a tissue I think I'm tearing up a little...."
Adelante walks in sloshing blood everywhere. Unfortunately, it's his own and as he curses under his breath you catch the words "damned lichs with their god damned death auras".
Adelante said, "Lich in the library, someone go show him first hand what it is to be a corpse."
Parthen said, "cleans a Nexus Champs entrails off his claws. "this crap is gonna stain""
Two Bees said, "I'm starting to think that the gas station has become some sort of elephant graveyard. There's now a myrmi-whatsis standing around inside."
Durin's Bane said, "On a side note, this acid chainsaw is sweet, sweet love all wrapped up in a thrashing package."
Slow Creeping Death digs through his 'doctor's' bag which is really a simple carrier bag from the corner shop. Takes out a dirty spoon "naw, that's no good" Digs deeper both a purple top hat and cat. "A Cat!! What are you doing in here!"
Slow Creeping Death said, ""Here Krull. Here boy! I have a snack for you." and toesses the cat towards Krull. "
Slow Creeping Death finally emerges from the carrier bag with a rusty scapel caked in either food or blood. "Ahhaa!! Just want I'm looking for. Now I can operate! Anyone who needs healing, please form an ordely line. I will attend to you in turn."
Slow Creeping Death after a few minutes work and much screaming SirRichardFrancisBurton emerges from the office looking much healthier. The look of surpise is quite evident. "You are welcome. feel free to return anytime." Wipes his scapel on the back of his trousers. "So?? Who's next?""
JackTheRipper is quite glad, suddenly, that he's a demon and could not accept Slow Creeping Death's... unique brand of healing... even if he were injured.
Metaxas the Smiling One jumps over a table and stays there squat, while he flips absent-minded a book he has found in the library.
Metaxas the Smiling One said, "I think, books say and Raggeds say that He did all the things that He loves and we only defile, but I think, if He did things weak, He wanted weakness for us to defile."
Adelante wonders what kind of meek soul would define itself by the will or intentions of another? "Who cares what His intentions were? We have the will and the ability to remake the world according to our whims. Let us exhalt in our power and marvel at those foolish enough to follow a path set down by anyone but themselves."
Sarah Vowell furiously takes notes in the corner. What a great set of essays all of this will make one day.
Korso said, "Alright, I should really head out and do some scouting."
Krull the Smasher said, "Ooh! Ooh! Krull coming! KRULL COMING! "
Korso said, "Uh, Krull, I’m not sure if that’s a good idea."
Krull the Smasher said, "Good idea! Krull got loads o’ good ideas! "
Korso said, "Krull, when have you ever-"
Krull the Smasher said, "Krull gonna sell ideas, make money an’ stuff."
Korso said, "Krull, you never struck me as much of an inventor…"
Krull the Smasher said, "Krull invent all kinds o’ stuff. Like the Kitten Blender."
Korso said, "Oh, god."
Krull the Smasher said, "It like normal blender, but for kittens!"
Korso said, "Why-"
Krull the Smasher said, "Krull still need to test it though. Kittens too fast for Krull, and fit into small places. Krull have trouble with small places."
Korso said, "That brings me back to why you can’t come with me on my scouting missions."
Krull the Smasher said, "Krull love missions! Krull go on missions all the time! "
Korso said, "Krull, stomping on people is not a proper mission. For you, I’d call it more of a hobby. What I do is a bit more precise."
Krull the Smasher said, "Krull confused. "
Korso said, "Shocking. Krull, I’m a Void Walker. I slip between the hidden planes of reality, moving silently in the-"
Krull the Smasher said, "Krull can do that! "
Korso said, "No, Krull, you can’t. It requires precision and otherworldly gifts. You don’t have an ounce of precision in you."
Krull the Smasher said, "Krull got loads of pre- preeeezish… "
Korso said, "Krull, you have difficulty navigating your way into a pair of pants"
Krull the Smasher said, "They hate Krull, make confusin’ shapes. Not fair. "
Korso said, "Krull, just stay here and… well, do whatever the hell it is you do."
Krull the Smasher said, "Krull got a blender! "
Korso said, "LEAVING NOW!"
Korso strides off, gliding effortlessly through a solid wall.
(2 times) Krull the Smasher said, "..."
Krull the Smasher said, "..."
Krull the Smasher said, "KRULL COMING!"
Krull the Smasher charges into the wall at full speed, bouncing off and laying motionless on the floor.
Sarah Vowell takes still more notes. "Dave Eggers, eat your heart out."
Lefacavus said, "There are quite a lot of Strongholds around here, aren't there...ah well, is there any of Tamesis' cake left? I would love some."
Nameless carefully cuts a small slice out of Tamesis' cake with one of his claws. He then sets it aside and voraciously scarfs down the rest of the cake.
Mr. White said, "Oh...merciful...I've been employed by an insane asylum."
Two Bees said, "Who you calling crazy? I'm as sane as any other 6-legged, winged insect."
Two Bees stops and looks down to count her limbs. "Wait, there's only . . . four here."
Two Bees said, "Omigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigod! My middle legs! My wonderful middle legs! How can I collect pollen without them?"
|
_________________
Jack
Serial Killer, Murder Inc.
| BobGeneric wrote: | | The Nexus is, in essence, one large community. While our characters pick sides and are enemies, our players - by and large - shouldn't have to. |
Last edited by JackTheRipper on Wed Sep 12, 2007 4:59 am; edited 2 times in total |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Newborn
Plane Traveller
Joined: 16 Jan 2007
Posts: 615
|
| Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 3:15 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Murder Inc. wrote: |
Korso said, "Krull, you have difficulty navigating your way into a pair of pants"
Krull the Smasher said, "They hate Krull, make confusin’ shapes. Not fair. "
....
Sarah Vowell takes still more notes. "Dave Eggers, eat your heart out." |
I love these lines especially.
_________________
 |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
JackTheRipper
Nexal Architect
Joined: 18 Jul 2007
Posts: 1312
Location: U.S. - Columbus, Georgia (Why, stalker?)
|
| Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 4:42 am Post subject: |
|
|
I think I may have laughed the hardest at this:
| Quote: | Korso said, "Shocking. Krull, I’m a Void Walker. I slip between the hidden planes of reality, moving silently in the-"
Krull the Smasher said, "Krull can do that! " |
Was hilarious seeing Korso trying to explain in such detail the glorious ways of the VWs, only to have Krull cut him off.
_________________
Jack
Serial Killer, Murder Inc.
| BobGeneric wrote: | | The Nexus is, in essence, one large community. While our characters pick sides and are enemies, our players - by and large - shouldn't have to. |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
fkholmes
Ascended
Joined: 07 May 2007
Posts: 334
|
| Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 5:52 am Post subject: |
|
|
I think this thread means I have to accept the invitation from Murder Inc. ^_^
_________________
 |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
JackTheRipper
Nexal Architect
Joined: 18 Jul 2007
Posts: 1312
Location: U.S. - Columbus, Georgia (Why, stalker?)
|
| Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 2:04 am Post subject: |
|
|
The following is an interview with one of the newest leaders of Murder Inc., Tuesday. Also known as Barbas.
| Quote: |
<Ilium> Now you're one of the leaders of one of the fastest growing factions in the nexus! What are you going to do now?!
* Ilium shoves mike in tuesday's face
<Tuesday> er, well
<Tuesday> i think we need to focus our business on providing better customer service
<Tuesday> people can get murdered by anyone
<Tuesday> but they come to murder inc, and we need to keep them coming back for more
* Ilium nods wearing the reporter smile
<Tuesday> sometimes, murderers may be tempted to reduce the pain content of their murders to cut costs
<Tuesday> but that's unfair to our vict---er customers
* Ilium smiles and nods
<Tuesday> we might save a few AP here and there, but the cost becomes obvious in the long term
* JackTheRipper yells out from the back of the crowd: WHOO! MURDER! BARBAS ROCKS!
<Tuesday> I'm hoping that we can increase the average amount of bloodshed per murder by 5% by the end of the next quarter
* JackTheRipper waves at the camera.
<Ilium> And what about this "war"? Is it true that you plan to make Murder Inc a RP client faction?
* Tuesday passes mike to jacktheripper
* JackTheRipper stares at the mike as if he's never seen one before, then runs away, leaving Tuesday to talk. That's what shared blam- errr, leadership.. is for.
<Tuesday> well, we certainly enjoy the ragged business, their patronage has helped us reach record profit levels
<Ilium> They say you have no chance and will soon be out of house and home? Begging on the streets. What do you think?
<Tuesday> Well, just because they refuse to pay their bills on time doesnt mean all of our clients do
<Tuesday> the ragged's have proven that they eventually pay for our services
<Tuesday> they also are a great source of referrals, encouraging others to give murder inc. a try
<Tuesday> Unfortunately, many prospective clients were mistaking our old building for a bar, so we've moved to a new location to rectify that
<Tuesday> As for research and development in the murder industry, we have our top researchers working to introduce new products and services to keep up with the demand. Probably the most anticipated of these is the "Kitten Blender", which our research department describes as "just like a normal blender, but for kittens!"
* Ilium cuts Tuesday off and turns to the camera. "And there you have it folks. Tuesday, the new Murder inc leader, thinks the raggeds are "great" and that he "enjoys" them.
*Ilium smiles vacantly and ends "Back to you Throc."
|
_________________
Jack
Serial Killer, Murder Inc.
| BobGeneric wrote: | | The Nexus is, in essence, one large community. While our characters pick sides and are enemies, our players - by and large - shouldn't have to. |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
rewil
Enlightened
Joined: 09 Apr 2007
Posts: 113
|
| Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 2:09 am Post subject: |
|
|
In the Murder, Inc., hold shortly after the promotion announcement:
| Quote: | # Korso said, "Ladies and gentlemen, now that I have been promoted to Serial Killer, I feel that a speech is in order."
# Korso said, "Ever since I joined this faction, I have found myself in better company than I ever could have dreamed."
# Korso said, "To fight beside you has been an honor, and to lead you will be an even greater one."
# Korso said, "Oh, who am I kidding. I can't wait to needlessly sacrifice some minions!"
# Korso said, "You! You, you, and you! Go outside and light yourselves on fire!"
# Korso said, "You there! Yes, you, cowering in the corner and whimpering. Go bring me back the reanimated corpse of a rabid baboon. I command it!"
# Korso said, "You, passed out on the bar! Build a pit full of sharks and start pushing people in! I don't care who, just make with the pushing!"
# Korso said, "You, yes you, the guy without any real combat skills. You must single-handedly raid the pirates of r'lyeh and bring me their flag! Don't return until you have it, or it's the rabid badgers for you!"
# Korso said, "Bwa ha ha ha!" |
Sarah listened to this then promptly donned a fireman's jacket and scurried outside to do some work, for fear of ... the badgers. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Srekto
Needs to get out more
Joined: 15 Sep 2006
Posts: 2048
|
| Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 5:36 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Quote: | # Sexual Harassment Panda enters through what would be the door, dancing and singing. (Fri, 14 Sep 2007 13:32:04 -0400)
# Sexual Harassment Panda said, "Who lives in the East, 'neath the willow trees? Sexual Harassment Panda!" (Fri, 14 Sep 2007 13:32:27 -0400)
# Sexual Harassment Panda said, "Who's come to explain sexual harassment to you and me? Sexual Harassment Panda!" (Fri, 14 Sep 2007 13:32:50 -0400)
# Sexual Harassment Panda said, "Don't say that! Don't touch there! Don't be nasty says the silly bear!" (Fri, 14 Sep 2007 13:33:10 -0400)
# Sexual Harassment Panda said, "He's come to teach you what's right and wrong, Sexual Harassment Panda!" (Fri, 14 Sep 2007 13:33:30 -0400)
# Sexual Harassment Panda said, "/stops and just kind of stands there for a bit." (Fri, 14 Sep 2007 13:34:13 -0400)
# Sexual Harassment Panda said, "Huh...how 'bout that? How do you suppose you pronounce '/'?" (Fri, 14 Sep 2007 13:34:53 -0400) |
Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!
_________________
My wiki page, because nobody asked.
My magical goods. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Maxx Powers
Needs to get out more
Joined: 22 Jul 2006
Posts: 1639
Location: Montana
|
| Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 5:44 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Wow. You, sir, are on the ball. That was not even ten minutes ago.
_________________
Maxximum Overdrive: Glory. Explosions. Rockin' music. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
kyllian
Nexal Master
Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 935
|
| Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 8:41 pm Post subject: |
|
|
/me makes a vow to get a character for Murder, Inc. just as soon as the FC war is settled.
_________________
A pack of puppies wants to know: why there is no Dog Food in Yappies? Why?! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
